AMERICANIZATION
U don’t open a telephone conversation with a “HELLO“, but with a “Hi”
The telephone is never “engaged“, it-s always “busy“.
U don’t “disconnect” a phone, U simply “hang-up“.
U never “mess-up” things, U only “screw them up“.
U never have a “residence” tel. no., U have a “home” no.
U don’t stop at the “signals“, but halt at the “lights“.
U don’t “accelerate“, U “step on the gas“.
Your tire never “punctures“, U may have a “flat“.
There R no “petrol pumps“, but “gas stations“.
U no longer meet a “wonderful” person, U meet a “cool guy”
There’s no “Business Area” only “business districts“, and no “districts” but “counties“.
No one stays “a stone’s throw away“, might “a few blocks away“.
There-s no “Town Side“, it’s “Down Town“.
In hotel U no longer pay by “cheque“, rather ask for “check“.
There R no “soft drinks“, only “sodas“.
Life-s no longer “miserable” it “stinks“.
U don’t “sweat it out“, U “work ur butt off“.
Never “post” a letter, always “mail” it and “glue” the stamps, don’t “stick” them.
U no longer live in “flats” or “blocks“, find an “apartment“.
U don’t stand in a “queue“, you are in a “line“.
U no longer “like” something, U “appreciate” it.
U R not “deaf“, U have “impaired hearing“.
U R not “lunatic“, U are just “mentally challenged“.
U R not “disgusting” U R “sick“.
U can-t get “surprised” U get “zapped“.
U never “joke“, U just do “kidding“.
U never “increase” the pressure, U always “crank” it up.
U never ask for a pencil “rubber“, U ask for an eraser.
U don’t try to find a “lift“, U find “an elevator”.
U don’t ask somebody “How r u ?“, U say “What’s up dude?”
U never go to “see a game”, U go to “watch a game“.
If someone gets “angry” at U, U get “flamed“.
You don’t say “How do you do“, you say “How you doing”
In short U don’t speak “English”, U speak “American”.
Well u don’t say “life is boring”, U say “LIFE SUCKS” !!!!!
LOL….
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Proper Pronunciation
An American was waiting on a London street corner. An attractive English girl was passing by when a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist.
A bit hairy… remarked the American.
Hearing this, the Cockney girl replied indignantly, well yes! What did you expect – feathers!
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Clinton-Bush-AlGore
Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Al Gore were on a sinking ship.
Gore yelled, We must save the women!
Screw the women! Bush replied.
Clinton asked, excited,
Do we have enough time for that?
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